GURUS GALORE DEPARTMENT
I planned to attend all four days of the screenwriting Expo this year, but only made two. I've been swamped building websites (Tuesday I spent 17 grueling hours in front of the computer), so I was only able to attend the weekend days. I hate having to trade off something I love for something I have to do to pay the bills, but that's how it works at this point.
Those two days were first rate. Of all the gurus I heard speak, I liked Bill Martell's classes the best. Bill drove a forklift before becoming a screenwriter, which gives him credentials beyond most anyone with a UCLA film education. Now he writes low budget action movies and the occasional horror piece. Bill confessed that his favorite genre is horror comedy, which is also mine, and one of his favorite movies is Piranha. Now we're talking. And he rides his bike to studio meetings.
Bill's first presentation was on guerrilla marketing your screenplay, where he shared a great technique for calling production companies to sell your wares. Don't. Get your friend to do it for you. Yeah, I'm all over that.
His second presentation was on horror. I disagreed with Bill that Hostel 2 is better than Hostel 1. I like Hostel 1 because it's the only movie I can think of that has no exposition. Also, it truly scared the shit out of me and made me laugh at the same time. Wait -- you mean it's not supposed to be funny?
One final thing I liked about Bill -- no discussion of what page your script should doing such and such. Okay, maybe he talks about that in another class or a book somewhere, but I don't recall hearing any of that on Saturday.
Would someone please come up with a technique for writing movies that doesn't involve counting pages?
I'm back to the grind now. I've been writing some strange cat stories just for the hell of it and figuring out what to do with all the notes and books I managed to amass at the Expo. I think I need a forklift.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Friday, March 2, 2007
Day for Night
THE HEALING LIGHT OF DARKNESS DEPARTMENT
Earlier in the year, I hooked up with production company that makes low budget films. Let's rephrase that: it makes ultra low budget films. Let's rephrase that again: it makes ultra ultra low budget films that aren't even films because they're videos.
I found the company on Craig's List. "PA's needed for low budget meteor film." Waging so much of my war on Hollywood from home, I figured this was a good chance to send one of my peasants on a recon mission to check on the state of things in the hinterlands. Nevermind the peasant is 36-years-old and being a PA is the most inglorious job on a film set, he'll be making movies on Thursday while the rest of America is stuffing their fat asses with Doritos and Desperate Housewives.
Plus, what's wrong with a little shit work? It builds character -- and you can't expect to get final cut on your first day on the job, right?
My peasant soon found himself in Topanga Canyon, standing outside a spooky house, watching the sun go down. You see, the company shoots mostly at night, between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. -- or 6 p.m. and 7 a.m., or 6 p.m. and 8 a.m., or... you get the idea. It's funny, even though I went to film school, since my focus was writing (film criticism) and not production, I never quite realized how many films are shot at night.
Why shoot at night? Well, think for a moment about your average film and how many scenes in that film take place at night. Generally, there's at least a dozen -- so of course, these scenes are going to be shot at night.
Now think about horror movies, and how many scenes in horror movies take place at night. Now you get the idea? You can't have girls running from guys with chainsaws when there are bluebirds and rainbows in the sky.
Well, come to think of it, that's not a half-bad idea...
This was a horror movie -- or at least I thought it was -- so the camera started rolling when the sun went down. The first scene involved campers sitting around a lantern (fire was too tricky to shoot, I assume, and would require the purchase of matches), bullshitting and drinking beer and philosophizing about a shooting star they see in the sky. Then the shooting star hits them and they explode.
I later found out the shooting star was sent to earth by none other than Jesus. In fact, the movie was a Christian thriller about what befalls those who don't pray to the right God.
Christian horror. It warms the heart.
My exhausted peasant stumbled into the door the next day and gave me his report. I sent him on several more midnight missions just to make sure his information was correct. I quickly gained new respect for every movie I've even seen that takes place at night.
Earlier in the year, I hooked up with production company that makes low budget films. Let's rephrase that: it makes ultra low budget films. Let's rephrase that again: it makes ultra ultra low budget films that aren't even films because they're videos.
I found the company on Craig's List. "PA's needed for low budget meteor film." Waging so much of my war on Hollywood from home, I figured this was a good chance to send one of my peasants on a recon mission to check on the state of things in the hinterlands. Nevermind the peasant is 36-years-old and being a PA is the most inglorious job on a film set, he'll be making movies on Thursday while the rest of America is stuffing their fat asses with Doritos and Desperate Housewives.
Plus, what's wrong with a little shit work? It builds character -- and you can't expect to get final cut on your first day on the job, right?
My peasant soon found himself in Topanga Canyon, standing outside a spooky house, watching the sun go down. You see, the company shoots mostly at night, between the hours of 6 p.m. and 6 a.m. -- or 6 p.m. and 7 a.m., or 6 p.m. and 8 a.m., or... you get the idea. It's funny, even though I went to film school, since my focus was writing (film criticism) and not production, I never quite realized how many films are shot at night.
Why shoot at night? Well, think for a moment about your average film and how many scenes in that film take place at night. Generally, there's at least a dozen -- so of course, these scenes are going to be shot at night.
Now think about horror movies, and how many scenes in horror movies take place at night. Now you get the idea? You can't have girls running from guys with chainsaws when there are bluebirds and rainbows in the sky.
Well, come to think of it, that's not a half-bad idea...
This was a horror movie -- or at least I thought it was -- so the camera started rolling when the sun went down. The first scene involved campers sitting around a lantern (fire was too tricky to shoot, I assume, and would require the purchase of matches), bullshitting and drinking beer and philosophizing about a shooting star they see in the sky. Then the shooting star hits them and they explode.
I later found out the shooting star was sent to earth by none other than Jesus. In fact, the movie was a Christian thriller about what befalls those who don't pray to the right God.
Christian horror. It warms the heart.
My exhausted peasant stumbled into the door the next day and gave me his report. I sent him on several more midnight missions just to make sure his information was correct. I quickly gained new respect for every movie I've even seen that takes place at night.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Storming the Walls with Thirty Peasants
INTRODUCTORY DEPARTMENT
Last week I attended the Sherwood Oaks All Access Weekend. This is where aspiring screenwriters like myself go to meet Hollywood player types. The Hollywood player types sit on a raised platform and talk about their projects and answer questions. Then when they are finished, they get bombarded by aspiring screenwriters like myself pitching their wares.
I don't consider myself a good networker, but I guess I was feeling cheeky since 20 minutes after walking in the room I managed to get one development exec and one director to agree to look at my stuff. These weren't just random folks either -- these were top targets of mine for the type of material I write. For the rest of the day I was asking the heavens -- what in hell did I do right?
You see, I've been attending events like this for about a year now. I generally sit in the corner, take notes, then go looking for the dessert tray.
This one was different. There was no way I could not talk to these two particular people. I simply got in the queue and let it all out.
Dang. I guess it worked.
I even got a cherry with my cake. I got to meet one of the writers of the original Alien and ask him about his screenplay. Now how cool is that?
Later in the day, one of the speakers said that to get noticed as a writer in Hollywood you have to do everything you can -- write, go to events, query, make phone calls... you have to storm the castle walls, and you have thirty peasants.
So, consider this blog one of my peasants. He's mildly literate, so his job is to document the attack in progress. He also does PR work for the peasant army. He looks for other peasants to join the fight and if the bastards still won't yield, to go build a castle somewhere else, run by peasants.
Let the adventure begin.
Last week I attended the Sherwood Oaks All Access Weekend. This is where aspiring screenwriters like myself go to meet Hollywood player types. The Hollywood player types sit on a raised platform and talk about their projects and answer questions. Then when they are finished, they get bombarded by aspiring screenwriters like myself pitching their wares.
I don't consider myself a good networker, but I guess I was feeling cheeky since 20 minutes after walking in the room I managed to get one development exec and one director to agree to look at my stuff. These weren't just random folks either -- these were top targets of mine for the type of material I write. For the rest of the day I was asking the heavens -- what in hell did I do right?
You see, I've been attending events like this for about a year now. I generally sit in the corner, take notes, then go looking for the dessert tray.
This one was different. There was no way I could not talk to these two particular people. I simply got in the queue and let it all out.
Dang. I guess it worked.
I even got a cherry with my cake. I got to meet one of the writers of the original Alien and ask him about his screenplay. Now how cool is that?
Later in the day, one of the speakers said that to get noticed as a writer in Hollywood you have to do everything you can -- write, go to events, query, make phone calls... you have to storm the castle walls, and you have thirty peasants.
So, consider this blog one of my peasants. He's mildly literate, so his job is to document the attack in progress. He also does PR work for the peasant army. He looks for other peasants to join the fight and if the bastards still won't yield, to go build a castle somewhere else, run by peasants.
Let the adventure begin.
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